Time is just a melody...

...right? I seem to think so sometimes. Who knows...maybe it's just what Jack Johnson thinks? Jacob loves playing the role of 'night owl,' so I'm using the blog tonight JUST to try and stay up a little later than usual. I mean, I live a very busy life; I work 8-4:30 everyday, have 18 hours worth of online classes, sing every Sunday morning at church, and have quite a few Spring series that I like to catch on tv. My life is anything but boring. It just tires me so. I hate making the boyfriend have our nightly chats hours before he even crashes. I like for him to be the last thing I think about before I go to bed, so I am gonna try to stay up a little later tonight so he can sleep to dream about me...with me actually being fresh on his mind. All of this being said, I'm sure this blog is going to be my most random one to date (Who am I kidding though? This will actually only be my fourth post!)

I started back at work with the City of Guntersville last Tuesday. As always, the job is full of criminals and surprises. I absolutely love the fast paced routines that I get pushed right back into: entering new cases into the computer, taking money for traffic tickets, processing appeals, dealing with attorneys (and the occasional crazy loon), making sure court runs as smoothly as possible and dealing with inmates. It's a job full of information. And if you know MCAnnaD even a little bit, you know she loves some info. haha

This week has so far been JAM PACKED! Here's a look at my crazy schedule:
*I'm gonna start with last Friday...just to make sure you all understand. :)

Friday 1/21- work 8-4:30, Jacob's at 5, dinner with Ashley and Decota at 7 @ Los Arcos, cuddling time with Jacob while watching A Bug's Life and Monsters Inc. until 2am

Saturday 1/22- Pick up Nicole at 9:30am, drive to Scottsboro to the Century House, get fitted for bridesmaid dresses for Cassie's wedding, hair appointment at J.Curtis Salon at 11am, afternoon cuddling with Jacob, Gran's to show the fam my new hair color, home to get ready for the night, Leave Erica's at 6pm for dinner (Buffalo Wild Wings...I don't suggest you get the Pink Buffalo. It used to be my favorite, but tastes like crap now) and a movie (The Book of Eli), arrive home at 1:30am

Sunday 1/23- church at 9, Huntsville Hospital to see my Pawpaw who just had a knee replacement, cuddling with Jacob, dinner at my Gran's at 4, seeing Jacob off to Auburn, homework

Monday 1/24- work 8-4:30, quick dinner, Cassie's jewelry party 6-8, watched The Bachelor with Mom

Tuesday 1/25- work, dinner at Gran's 5pm, watched American Idol with Mom, worked on homework

Wednesday 1/26- work, dinner with Dee at 5pm, practice at 7, watch Idol with Mom, work on homework

Thursday 1/27- work, Snead's Homecoming (my Brooklyn's up for Queen!! :) ) 7:30pm, homework, pack for a weekend with Linds, Ev, and Jacob in Tuscaloosa

Friday 1/28-Sunday 1/30- weekend with 3 of my favorite people (I'm still bummed Merica isn't coming though!)

See? I've got a lot going on. And to top all of that off, I still have a load of homework to finish that Sunday night I get home from Tuscaloosa, including 2 tests. I absolutely love online classes, because I can work at my own pace and whenever I have free time. The only flaw is that it seems as though professors really load us down with course work. I actually had 4 research papers due the week of finals last semester! I never thought I was going to make it thru! Glory to God that I did.

Speaking of glory to God, I miss my Haleybug. She's doing The World Race. It's a missionary program. She left in October (going to a different country every month, doing different mission work) and won't be back home until October of this year. A whole year without her is driving me crazy. I never realized exactly how much I depend on her for things. Being born only 9 days after me, Haley's always been there. I seem to have taken her for granted...until now. This summer was packed with Haley and Anna time just about every day. We went on adventures to Chattanooga (doing crazy stuff like staying the night and leaving at 6 the next a.m. so I could get to work on time), and she taught me how to WAKEBOARD! I know that she's doing exactly everything God's had a plan for her to do since she was created, but I'm ready for her to be home!!

Okay, I feel as though I'm losing my audience by now. My rambling has gotten quite intense. I'll leave you with one last thought though...

There was a guy on Idol tonight (I can't remember his name) who sung Maroon 5's 'Sunday Morning.' That guy is gonna win this season. There. I said it. That's my prediction.

Oh, How He Loves Us

I've got to get better at this whole blogging thing. I just have to make time to do it every day. Letting all of my feelings out with these posts makes me get a LOT off my chest. And trust me, there's a lot on my plate right now.

I'm 100% overwhelmed right now. I've never been more overwhelmed than this at any point in my life before. Of this fact, I am most sure. There are so many emotions running around in my being right now, it's ridiculous. And on top of the emotional overload, I'm completely and utterly physically exhausted. We found out last week that my dad had cancer. It was in the form of a tumor; one taking over his right kidney. Tuesday, they removed the cancer and the kidney. And PRAISE GOD!! that was all the cancer in his body. Because of Dad's surgery, we've been at the hospital every single day. That on top of work and school starting, I have felt so physically exhausted, I'm sure I could sleep for at least two weeks straight.

Now, for the emotional part of this whole overwhelming feeling...

I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of thanksgiving. I'm thankful that I serve a God who is good ALL the time. He saved my dad from cancer and allowed him to come home from the hospital today. God also helped things to work out so that I met Jacob, the most wonderful guy in the world. Oh, he's also my boyfriend :) I'm also thankful for a God who's blessed me with incredible friends that plan Girl's Nights when they know I need to get out of the house, call me to share intimate details about their relationship with Christ, and are there to be prayer warriors with me. God's also blessed me with a supportive family...including a ballin' little brother who finally realizes that I'm 'cool.'

I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of relief. I'm relieved that a full-time job has landed in my lap. I needed benefits to overcome the lack of my parents' insurance. I'm also relieved that Athens decided I was poverty stricken enough to qualify for a student loan. Up until Tuesday (the day Dad had his surgery), I was afraid that I wouldn't be going to school at all this semester for financial reasons. I guess this could also qualify under my feelings of Thanksgiving. Once again, God is GOOD!

I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of longing. And by longing, I mean that I miss people dearly. I miss my sweet boyfriend, who's the best guy I've ever met, while he's at school in Auburn. Every other weekend never seems like enough time. I also miss my best friend in the whole entire world, Haley. She's practically my sister. And even though she's on a mission trip around the world, doing exactly what God's always had planned for her, I miss her. This month, it's particularly worse. She's in Cambodia, without internet access, so we can't Facebook, email, or Skype. She's the person I normally vent to the most, and she's the one who normally sets me straight, and let's me know that I need to quit solving all of my problems on my own; she encourages me to turn things over to God just when I forget that small little detail.

You know what one feeling I'm not overwhelmed by? That's worry. I feel completely certain about everything in my life right now. I'm content and trusting what God's got in store. That's the one lesson I've been taught this week: trust. It's the promise that God has ensured me He has given me.

A Bit Generic...

Okay, so I know these survey things are tad bit generic, right? Well, I decided that I need to get into doing this whole blogging thing on a regular basis. I'm dead tired today (woke up at 5:40 am to leave my wonderful boyfriend, traveled home from Auburn, got ready for church, did the whole church thing, attended a bridal fair in Huntsville with Cassie, had dinner at my Gran's while visiting my fam, made a Walmart trip with Merica, and played catch up with my Dad and then Haley), so this is about as good as it's going to get.

This survey is supposed to be filled out with music from my iTunes library. Here goes...

IF SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY?’ YOU SAY?

Sing for the Moment-Eminem

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?

Number One Spot-Ludacris

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Love and Sex and Magic-Ciara ft. Justin Timberlake

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Grind-Swollen Members

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?

Cold Desert-Kings of Leon

WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?

Butterflies and Hurricanes-Muse

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Walkaway Joe-Trisha Yearwood (I'm going to go ahead and guess this isn't really true.)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Perfect People-Natalie Grant (Okay, I know this one is FAR from true. haha)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

I Wanna-The All-American Rejects

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Typical-MuteMatch

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Fuzzy Blue Lights-Owl City

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

The Pimp Chronicles Part 1-Katt Williams (hahahaha)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Let My Love Open the Door-Audio Adrenaline

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

Hard Working Man-Brooks & Dunn (Let me just clarify that I am not, indeed, fearful of hard working men. I actually prefer them that way.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Times Like These-Foo Fighters

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?

He Said, She Said-NLT

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

High Cotton-Alabama

***Ahhh...this one turned out to tell more of a story.***

Opening Credits: Go Getta-Young Jeezy
First Day Of School: Everlasting God-Chris Tomlin
Falling In Love: Tomorrow-Silverchair
Fight Song: Go Go Gadget Flow-Lupe Fiasco
Breaking Up: Cobrastyle-Teddybears
Prom: Unknown-Lifehouse
Life's Ok: In a Cave-Tokyo Police Club
Mental Breakdown: Let It Go-Keisha Cole
Driving: The Streak-Ray Stevens
Flashback: Mafia Music-Rick Ross
Getting Back Together: Hollywood-Nickelback
Birth Of A Child: Glamorous-Fergie
Wedding: Renegade-Daughtry
Final Battle: Days Go By-Keith Urban
Death Scene: Who Do You Love-Ben Harper
Funeral Song: You Oughta Know-Alanis Morrisette
End Credits: Funhouse-Pink

Okay, those were both incredibly lame. BUT they did serve two purpose...1.) They helped me to write another blog post, AND 2.) They made me verrrry sleepy. Time to crash and prepare my mind for what is sure to be a loooong day tomorrow. Maybe we'll all get lucky, and I'll post again.

Sometimes 'Letting Go' Can Be a Really Strange Process

We've all lost people extremely important to us. I know that for a fact. Only because it's happened to me several times. Come to think of it, it's happened WAY too many times in my short 23 years of existance. This past Wednesday morning, as I was driving to work, I got a call that Edward had passed away. He was the closest thing to a grandfather I've ever known. I'm talking, even closer than the grandfather I actually have that's still living.

Edward was my Gran's boyfriend. Some of you may chuckle at his title, but that's exactly what he was...her significant other, boyfriend, and very best friend. Edward and Gran have been together for over thirty years. Looooong before I was ever even thought about. When I did burst on the scene (and believe me, it was quite the outburst! I'm talking conehead, 10.5 lbs...I was a nasty looking baby.), it seemed as though I had a string around Edward's heart from then on.

Edward spent countless hours with me when I was younger. He, in traditional grandfather role, taught me to do the most simple things. It was from him that I learned how to ride a bike, tie my shoes, blow a bubble, snap my fingers...you know the types of things I'm talking about. It was Edward who used to let me sit in his lap and steer his old blue Chevrolet truck around the back roads in Sims Community. He let me teach him funny kid songs like, 'Father Abraham' and 'Peter, James, and John in a Sailboat.' He would sing those songs along with me like they were the best tunes he'd ever heard in the world.

On Friday nights, Gran and I were Edward's dates to dinner and then the Guntersville football game. No matter where Guntersville played, the three of us were in attendance. And in true grandfather form, we were usually there at least 2 hours before the game started, in our 'seats.' Edward also took me to Daytona Beach, Florida every summer. He made the time, no matter what, to stop at a specific rest stop every trip down. Once we'd stopped, he would stand me up in fron of this specific light pole (yes, I'm being serious) and take my picture. He had an entire album of photos that were just of me every year in THAT exact spot.

As you can imagine, when I heard the news that Edward had passed away, it completely broke my heart. It made things even tougher when I realized that some people refused to understand what I HUGE pain this was for me. Grief is something, I realize, that we all deal with differently. But just because we deal with it differently, it doesn't mean that we should ignore the way other people cope with grief. I was dealt a hard lesson in this area just over the past few days.

I began to see, even yesterday while I was at church, that in this certain situation, I was dealing with grief in a much different manner than I ever had before. I began to think to myself (as I was singing in front of everyone, mind you)about how much I wished I had a different personality. Those of you who know me, know that I am a very outgoing, 'people' person. For just a few moments yesterday morning, I wished that I was one of those quiet people that everyone else knew not to confront; that people would realize I didn't want a hug, I just wanted to be left alone. That's when I realized that my grief had hit rock bottom. That's the moment I looked back at everything that's happened this past weekend and realized that even in my sorrow, I am extremely blessed!

If it weren't for a family who completely respected Edward and his life AND my amazing friends and boyfriend (who made sure I was kept bust all weekend long with NYE/Birthday festivities, cookouts, football games, THINGS, Apples to Apples, endless dinners, and a sleep over) I seriously don't know how I would have made it. Comfort comes from the Lord. Of that, I am most certain. I just firmly believe He saw fit to give me the right friends and family to show me that comfort. Thanks yall. You have absolutely no idea what you've meant to me.