I've got to get better at this whole blogging thing. I just have to make time to do it every day. Letting all of my feelings out with these posts makes me get a LOT off my chest. And trust me, there's a lot on my plate right now.
I'm 100% overwhelmed right now. I've never been more overwhelmed than this at any point in my life before. Of this fact, I am most sure. There are so many emotions running around in my being right now, it's ridiculous. And on top of the emotional overload, I'm completely and utterly physically exhausted. We found out last week that my dad had cancer. It was in the form of a tumor; one taking over his right kidney. Tuesday, they removed the cancer and the kidney. And PRAISE GOD!! that was all the cancer in his body. Because of Dad's surgery, we've been at the hospital every single day. That on top of work and school starting, I have felt so physically exhausted, I'm sure I could sleep for at least two weeks straight.
Now, for the emotional part of this whole overwhelming feeling...
I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of thanksgiving. I'm thankful that I serve a God who is good ALL the time. He saved my dad from cancer and allowed him to come home from the hospital today. God also helped things to work out so that I met Jacob, the most wonderful guy in the world. Oh, he's also my boyfriend :) I'm also thankful for a God who's blessed me with incredible friends that plan Girl's Nights when they know I need to get out of the house, call me to share intimate details about their relationship with Christ, and are there to be prayer warriors with me. God's also blessed me with a supportive family...including a ballin' little brother who finally realizes that I'm 'cool.'
I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of relief. I'm relieved that a full-time job has landed in my lap. I needed benefits to overcome the lack of my parents' insurance. I'm also relieved that Athens decided I was poverty stricken enough to qualify for a student loan. Up until Tuesday (the day Dad had his surgery), I was afraid that I wouldn't be going to school at all this semester for financial reasons. I guess this could also qualify under my feelings of Thanksgiving. Once again, God is GOOD!
I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of longing. And by longing, I mean that I miss people dearly. I miss my sweet boyfriend, who's the best guy I've ever met, while he's at school in Auburn. Every other weekend never seems like enough time. I also miss my best friend in the whole entire world, Haley. She's practically my sister. And even though she's on a mission trip around the world, doing exactly what God's always had planned for her, I miss her. This month, it's particularly worse. She's in Cambodia, without internet access, so we can't Facebook, email, or Skype. She's the person I normally vent to the most, and she's the one who normally sets me straight, and let's me know that I need to quit solving all of my problems on my own; she encourages me to turn things over to God just when I forget that small little detail.
You know what one feeling I'm not overwhelmed by? That's worry. I feel completely certain about everything in my life right now. I'm content and trusting what God's got in store. That's the one lesson I've been taught this week: trust. It's the promise that God has ensured me He has given me.
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