We've all lost people extremely important to us. I know that for a fact. Only because it's happened to me several times. Come to think of it, it's happened WAY too many times in my short 23 years of existance. This past Wednesday morning, as I was driving to work, I got a call that Edward had passed away. He was the closest thing to a grandfather I've ever known. I'm talking, even closer than the grandfather I actually have that's still living.
Edward was my Gran's boyfriend. Some of you may chuckle at his title, but that's exactly what he was...her significant other, boyfriend, and very best friend. Edward and Gran have been together for over thirty years. Looooong before I was ever even thought about. When I did burst on the scene (and believe me, it was quite the outburst! I'm talking conehead, 10.5 lbs...I was a nasty looking baby.), it seemed as though I had a string around Edward's heart from then on.
Edward spent countless hours with me when I was younger. He, in traditional grandfather role, taught me to do the most simple things. It was from him that I learned how to ride a bike, tie my shoes, blow a bubble, snap my fingers...you know the types of things I'm talking about. It was Edward who used to let me sit in his lap and steer his old blue Chevrolet truck around the back roads in Sims Community. He let me teach him funny kid songs like, 'Father Abraham' and 'Peter, James, and John in a Sailboat.' He would sing those songs along with me like they were the best tunes he'd ever heard in the world.
On Friday nights, Gran and I were Edward's dates to dinner and then the Guntersville football game. No matter where Guntersville played, the three of us were in attendance. And in true grandfather form, we were usually there at least 2 hours before the game started, in our 'seats.' Edward also took me to Daytona Beach, Florida every summer. He made the time, no matter what, to stop at a specific rest stop every trip down. Once we'd stopped, he would stand me up in fron of this specific light pole (yes, I'm being serious) and take my picture. He had an entire album of photos that were just of me every year in THAT exact spot.
As you can imagine, when I heard the news that Edward had passed away, it completely broke my heart. It made things even tougher when I realized that some people refused to understand what I HUGE pain this was for me. Grief is something, I realize, that we all deal with differently. But just because we deal with it differently, it doesn't mean that we should ignore the way other people cope with grief. I was dealt a hard lesson in this area just over the past few days.
I began to see, even yesterday while I was at church, that in this certain situation, I was dealing with grief in a much different manner than I ever had before. I began to think to myself (as I was singing in front of everyone, mind you)about how much I wished I had a different personality. Those of you who know me, know that I am a very outgoing, 'people' person. For just a few moments yesterday morning, I wished that I was one of those quiet people that everyone else knew not to confront; that people would realize I didn't want a hug, I just wanted to be left alone. That's when I realized that my grief had hit rock bottom. That's the moment I looked back at everything that's happened this past weekend and realized that even in my sorrow, I am extremely blessed!
If it weren't for a family who completely respected Edward and his life AND my amazing friends and boyfriend (who made sure I was kept bust all weekend long with NYE/Birthday festivities, cookouts, football games, THINGS, Apples to Apples, endless dinners, and a sleep over) I seriously don't know how I would have made it. Comfort comes from the Lord. Of that, I am most certain. I just firmly believe He saw fit to give me the right friends and family to show me that comfort. Thanks yall. You have absolutely no idea what you've meant to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment